I’m a 20 something years old Libyan woman. I have my whole future ahead of me and I’ve started laying out future plans for myself . That’s what normal women in their twenties in the rest of the world think , well most of them apart from Libya . The priorities of women in my country are messed up.
In this country you don’t get hired in major communications companies (that shall stay unnamed but very obvious who they are) despite the fact that you have a higher GPA than most male engineers because you’re a woman. It’s the 21st century and they sometimes don’t hire you because you were born with lady parts.
In fact the entire community participates in this hateful attitude towards women. Rumors are the community’s way of controlling people. Most families are scared of what people say so they do their best to keep their daughters in check. Aunties for example would say “oh no you’re a girl, ugh why would want to work?!l” “you’re 21 and no husband dear lord the clock is ticking” . Libyans don’t seem to know how the human anatomy works. They have a different calendar and think a female expires after 25. Our society is terrified of smart independent opinionated women and treats them as outcasts.
I’m not interested in a partner who will only see me as an object to own and show off. It’s horrifying how all of the girls around me are running off after men instead of focusing on their futures. These are intelligent girls who have the capability to be anything ( engineers, geophysicists, doctors, journalists, ministers ) But what do you think happens to them here ? They settle. I’ve heard too many stories about dropouts with too many kids discussing stretch marks over coffee , what they should make for lunch today or why their husbands never takes them anywhere.
Here are a few questions I’ve been asking lately, did any man ever dropout for marriage? Why do you have to pay the price? Why do you have to keep up with backwards middle aged traditions? Who says you have to be ignorant? If your answer to any of those is “my husband doesn’t mind me finishing university or high school “then you need to think again.
Fellow sisters who is he to have a say in it in the first place? Education is your right, not a privilege provided by your husband, he doesn’t get to have a say in it! You can work, study, travel. Never settle for answers like “my husband is very open minded he doesn’t mind me going to university”.
I keep wondering how they plan to keep up with their kids in the future. Are they going to understand them? All that ever goes on in their heads is “is my eyeliner even? Does this scarf go well with this? You won’t believe it I got a MAC lipstick on sale!” What kind of parenting would these mothers provide? No languages, no education, no desire to read. Give it a few years and they won’t be able to write. Why do they give men such power over them? Power that isn’t theirs to begin with.
Go get an education, get involved in politics, have your own opinions, be in control of your life, think independently …. These are all part of your rights. Why do you keep insisting on throwing them all down the drain? Life has a way of turning against us and the only way a woman can protect herself is with financial independence. Your education is your insurance policy in the future. A way to protect yourself from life’s curve balls . Husbands are great and all but they aren’t there forever. A man might settle for an uneducated wife who can’t hold a decent conversation today but what about 10 years from now?
I’m not telling women to not get married. Explore your options don’t settle for being a walking uterus who can’t think for herself. Your life doesn’t have to revolve around being someone’s wife. Women can achieve great things. Life doesn’t have to end after marriage. It’s a matter of priorities and right timing.
“If you educate a man, you educate an individual but when you educate a woman, you educate a whole family “ – Robert MacIver
Empower enough of them and you’ll empower the nation. We need over achieving smart women not teenagers with nothing on their minds but gossip and applying makeup. It kills me how little these women think, if only they realized how truly powerful they were. They cannot just change their homes and surroundings but all of Libya.
So yes my fellow females, believe it or not there is more to life than just men and makeup and I’d like you to start thinking for yourselves instead of repeating what they’ve been telling you to do.
Written by J.E
Note : The photo attached is a painting by Italian artist Sandro Botticelli , known as “ The Outcast” . Genre : Religious Painting. Style : Early renaissance.